Despicable Me 3 is a tired, stale, scattershot mess of a film that I’d be more forgiving of if, like the other entries in this series, it were actually funny.
The Secret Life of Pets is a very enjoyable joke machine, but a deeply confused one that illuminates Illumination’s continued weaknesses.
With the 2016 BAFTA Film Awards this coming Sunday, Callum Petch gives you a thorough rundown of the various nominees.
Let’s have a brief bit of fun.
Cos my name carries some cache now, I guess?
Audiences head straight into Compton, The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’s cover is blown, Mistress America takes home a Participation Award, and Other Box Office News.
The Fantastic 4 are dead, audiences tentatively accept The Gift, Ricki and the Flash got booed off-stage, motherfuckers didn’t go and see Shaun the Sheep Movie, and Other Box Office News.
Mission: Impossible doesn’t self-destruct, nobody wanted to go on Vacation cos they’d reached The End of the Tour, you should all Listen To Me Marlon, and Other Box Office News.
Ant-Man shrinks the standard Marvel opening, Trainwreck is anything but a, Mr. Holmes effortlessly cracks The Mystery of How To Get Into the Top 10, these puns are awful even by my standards, and Other Box Office News.
The Minions are their own boss, The Gallows has made back its budget 100x over, people were selfish and didn’t see Self/Less, it’s not been a good week to be a limited release, and Other Box Office News.