My Fantasy Awards Booking 2020

A kinder, fairer, better Awards Season line-up (cos I picked it all).

The sounds of a million film fans simultaneous cries of absolute disgust at the latest ignorant xenophobic/racist shit being spewed from the Brutally Honest Oscar Ballot series must mean that the Academy Awards are this Sunday!  And with them, the end of yet another interminable Awards Season dogged by petty snubs, a steadfast refusal to let POCs, women, and LGBTQ+ folks into the increasingly out-of-touch White straight boys’ club, and ceaseless thinkpieces arguing about the Season from every possible angle that end up repeating the exact same narratives every single year without fail like it’s a WWE writer’s room – “I know it’s been barely a month since we did our last cucking angle, but that just means it’s rested and ready to come back into vogue!

Anywho, for the last few years, I’ve liked to cap off the whole sordid, blood-pressure-inflaming affair by fantasy booking my own awards show as a counter to our miserable normalised authoritarian existence – seriously, why the fuck aren’t more people furious about the government repeatedly trying to classify Extinction Rebellion as a terror group?!  Like all my best ideas, I stole it from my more talented friends at the time (shout-outs to Kyle Turner again) and I’ve kept on doing so cos routine and all that.  As per usual: no winners, no descriptors, no long-winded reasonings (although you can probably find what you’re looking for in the Top 20 of 2019 series or my BAFTA nominations piece).  This is just a nice thought exercise.


Best Film

Beats
Booksmart
Hustlers
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum
Knives Out
Little Women
Midsommar
Parasite
The Farewell
Uncut Gems

Best Director

Ari Aster Midsommar
Greta Gerwig Little Women
Bong Joon-ho Parasite
Lorene Scafaria Hustlers
Lulu Wang The Farewell

Best Actor

Antonio Banderas Salvador Mallo Pain and Glory
Song Kang-ho Kim Ki-taek Parasite
Daniel Kaluuya Slim Queen & Slim
Eddie Murphy Rudy Ray Moore Dolemite is My Name
Adam Sandler Howard Ratner Uncut Gems

Best Actress

Awkwafina Billi Wang The Farewell
Elisabeth Moss Becky Something Her Smell
Lupita Nyong’o Adelaide Wilson/Red Us
Florence Pugh Dani Ardor Midsommar
Saoirse Ronan Jo March Little Women

Best Supporting Actor

Sterling K. Brown Ronald Williams Waves
Timothée Chalamet Theodore Laurence Little Women
Noah Jupe Otis Lort [12 Years Old] Honey Boy
Lorn Macdonald Spanner Beats
Joe Pesci Russell Bufalino The Irishman

Best Supporting Actress

Kaitlyn Dever Amy Antsler Booksmart
Jennifer Lopez Ramona Vega Hustlers
De’Vine Joy Randolph Lady Reed Dolemite is My Name
Taylor Russell Emily Williams Waves
Zhao Shuzhen Nai Nai The Farewell

Best Original Screenplay

Booksmart Susanna Fogel, Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins and Katie Silberman
Her Smell Alex Ross Perry
Knives Out Rian Johnson
Midsommar Ari Aster
Parasite Bong Joon-ho and Han Jin-won

Best Adapted Screenplay

Beats Kieran Hurley and Brian Welsh
Hustlers Lorene Scafaria
Little Women Greta Gerwig
The Farewell Lulu Wang
The Irishman Steven Zallian

Best Animated Feature

A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon
I Lost My Body
Klaus
The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
Toy Story 4

Best Film Not In the English Language

For Sama
I Lost My Body
Pain and Glory
Parasite
Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Best Documentary

Amazing Grace
Apollo 11
For Sama

Best Cinematography

1917 Roger Deakins
Hustlers Todd Banhazl
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum Dan Laustsen
Little Women Yorick Le Saux
Midsommar Pawel Pogorzelski

Best Original Score

Her Smell Keegan DeWitt
In Fabric Cavern of Anti-Matter
Midsommar Bobby Krlic
The Farewell Alex Weston
Uncut Gems Daniel Lopatin

Best Editing

Amazing Grace Jeff Buchanan
Booksmart Brent White and Jamie Gross
Little Women Nick Houy
The Irishman Thelma Schoonmaker
Uncut Gems Ronald Bronstein and Benny Safdie

Best Production Design

Little Women Jess Gonchor
Midsommar Henrik Svensson
Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Barbara Ling
Parasite Lee Ha-jun
The Lighthouse Craig Lathrop

Best Visual Effects

Avengers: Endgame
Klaus
Midsommar
Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood
The Irishman

Best Costume Design

Dolemite is My Name Ruth E. Carter
Little Women Jacqueline Durran
Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Arianne Phillips
Parasite Choi Se-yeon
Portrait of a Lady on Fire Dorothée Guiraud

Callum Petch wants another chance (but they can’t swim).

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