Age of Ultron drops like that one thing from the movie that I can’t specify cos spoilers I guess, Hot Pursuit has lost ‘em, The D Train has been cancelled, and Other Box Office News.
Continuing to very much embody and experience the effects of the younger sibling of the family – in that it comes along after a successful first effort that everybody loves, has unreasonably high expectations fostered upon it that it unsurprisingly doesn’t live up to, ends up vocally liked a whole lot less than its older sibling, and eventually grows up to be a miserable burnout who never received the love and compassion that could have stoked its drive to succeed and do something great with the world, YOU MONSTERS – The Avengers: Age of Ultron managed a second weekend of only $77 million for first place, $26 million less than The Avengers’ second weekend. (*takes deep breath*) CINEMA IS DOOOOOOOOOO-
In non-superhero news, because such things do actually exist nowadays believe it or not, Hot Pursuit came out! You know, that Reese Witherspoon/Sofia Vergara buddy-movie? Fronted by women, directed by a woman, aimed at women, things that are still unfortunately rare in this damn industry? The one that looks like (and, by all accounts, is) total garbage? Yeah, that one! Well, it’s a dud. Despite canny counter-programming placement and an apparently decent marketing campaign, it turns out that those toxic reviews caught up with it after all, so its second place finish came from a paltry $13 million. Maybe everybody was saving their money for Pitch Perfect 2 next weekend instead.
(Side bar: If Pitch Perfect 2 bombs, I am going medieval on everyone’s asses. Consider yourselves warned.)
Meanwhile, in the land of limited releases… things were rather miserable here, too, actually. I’m starting to believe that people actually were saving their money for Mad Max: Fury Road and Pitch Perfect 2 next weekend. Doing the worst of the lot and opening on the most screens of the lot was The D Train which built its marketing campaign around Jack Black and a twist that anybody could figure out purely by looking at the goddamn title. It did horrendously, only managing $469,000 from 1,003 screens for a per-screen average of $465. That makes it the 17th worst opening weekend for a wide-release film ever and puts it below even Men, Women & Children in terms of per-screen averages. Poor, poor Jack Black. I was looking forward to christening his career resurrection “Back In Jack Black” but I guess everybody figured that would happen and decided to snuff out the whole concept to be safe.
Speaking of actors pushing themselves out of their comfort zone only to be slapped down violently by an uncaring public who just want the monkeys to dance for their amusement, dammit, Arnold Schwarzenegger tried acting in a moody zombie drama called Maggie this past weekend where, by all accounts, he actually acted instead of just chewing scenery! This, however, is not the kind of sh*t the public pay to see Arnie do, dammit, and so the film could only manage $131,000 from 79 screens for a sub-$2,000 per-screen average. Not even “pleasant” movies were saved from general public apathy as the Morgan Freeman/Diane Keaton comedy 5 Flights Up found out the hard way, only mustering up $234,000 from 87 screens for a $2,690 per-screen average. The only success from this weekend was I Am Big Bird which managed a $10,000 per-screen average… from its singular screen.
Box Office Results: Friday 8th May 2015 – Sunday 10th May 2015
1] The Avengers: Age of Ultron
$77,203,000 / $312,589,000
This will pass a billion next week. Three words my friends: Chinese opening weekend. Mad Max doesn’t have a release date over there yet, and Tomorrowland doesn’t drop until the very end of May. Consider this Open Season for The Avengers on the Chinese box office. I really need to find the time to see this again in cinemas before the utter mayhem that is Summer Movie Season 2015 boots this to home media.
2] Hot Pursuit
$13,300,000 / NEW
Disappointed but not at all surprised to hear that this is garbage. I watched that trailer, too, and it was around about the time jokes were made about how Reese Witherspoon is short (ha!) and Sofia Vergara is over-40-and-therefore-ancient (HA!) that I realised, despite all my best hopes, that this would be pure garbage. Sigh. Hurry along, Pitch Perfect 2. Show the rest of cinema how to do this sh*t right.
3] The Age of Adaline
$5,600,000 / $31,529,000
Saw this this past weekend and I was so close to liking it for what it is – a film that wastes its thematically rich premise on a bog-standard love story with an infinitely better melodramatic subplot at the halfway point – but it loses points for having a lead male protagonist who only gets the girl because he keeps forcefully inserting himself into her life despite her objections, wearing her down until she finally goes on a date and realises how dreamy he is. Serious question: how goddamn hard is it to get a romance story that’s actually friggin’ romantic, huh?! Surprisingly great Harrison Ford performance, though.
4] Furious 7
$5,272,000 / $338,420,000
When actuals came in last weekend, this did beat Adaline after all. Might even happen again! Who knows? Not I, for I am neither psychic nor particularly bothered.
5] Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
$5,190,000 / $58,075,000
Oh, just fuck off already.
6] Ex Machina
$3,470,000 / $15,722,000
This expanded to another 725 theatres this past weekend, putting it up to 2,004 total, hence why it’s made a fair bit more money than last weekend. I mean, its per-screen average isn’t particularly great but, again, this is a hard sci-fi that’s expanding purely on word-of-mouth and with little advertising behind it. I think we can agree that this is doing fine.
$3,000,000 / $162,116,000
Up to $330 million worldwide which makes it currently the 18th highest grossing DreamWorks film worldwide. It will pass Over The Hedge this week but Shark Tale seems more than a little out-of-reach, and it’s still made less worldwide than notorious flop Penguins of Madagascar. No, I won’t stop worrying about DreamWorks Animation. I feel like a parent with a kid at Secondary School – the kid is more than likely fine and capable of taking care of themselves, but I’m going to keep worrying regardless.
8] Woman In Gold
$1,652,000 / $26,978,000
The Voices is available on DVD and Blu-Ray from all good retailers on July 27th.
$1,574,000 / $196,116,000
OK, I am completely out of things to say for most of this list. Can the rest of May hurry up please so that I get some fresh material? Not too quickly, mind, I still have 5 uni essays to do in the next 8 or so days, but, y’know, soon.
$1,412,000 / $30,943,000
Lucy was sufficiently impressed with this when she reviewed it for Screen 1 – if you missed the episode, you can listen back here – which, coupled with the generally positive responses I have heard from other people, has led me to believe that this isn’t a total waste of time. I’ll find out for myself on DVD then, I guess.
Dropped Out: The Longest Ride
Callum Petch will do this one himself.