Dumb and Dumber audiences turn up in droves for Dumb And Dumber To, Beyond The Lights exists an imaginary pile of cash, Christmas is doomed, and Other Box Office News.
Surprisingly, it turns out that the audience size for a sequel to Dumb & Dumber is about equal to that of the audience for a second week Disney film, which I genuinely did not see coming. Dumb And Dumber To ended up taking the top spot this weekend with about $38 million in ticket sales, just $2 million more than what Big Hero 6 managed. For those wondering, my surprise keeps alternating between “that many people turned up for a 20 years later sequel to Dumb And Dumber?” and “only that many people turned up for a 20 years later sequel to Dumb And Dumber?” I dunno. I’m in shock, I just don’t know what I’m in shock at.
In any case, unlike next week, there was more than one new release this weekend. With regards to the wide releases, bottom of the pack was Beyond The Lights – a film whose trailer just caused me to vomit profusely in sickening anger – which could only manage a very mediocre $6.5 million from 1,800 screen for a distant fourth place. Birdman continued its slow expansion nationwide and managed to crack the Top 10, albeit with about the same haul as last week but in more theatres. Whiplash, meanwhile, continues to be punished for NOT BEING IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS RIGHT NOW DAMMIT by struggling to find a non-arthouse audience – its expansion to 441 theatres could only manage $801,000.
In limited release land, we have a pair of successes, an OK performer, and a hilarious failure in more ways than one. Most successful of the lot was the speculative fiction drama Foxcatcher which rode a near-literal wave of buzz and good press to a weekend total of $288,000 from six theatres – a ridiculous per-screen average of $48,000. Performing much less great than that – but still great, it must be said – is the Tommy Lee Jones-directed western drama The Homesman which managed a very respectable $48,000 from 4 screens for a $12,000 per-screen average. Whilst in expanding news, The Theory Of Everything infected another 36 theatres and raked in an average of $18,000 from each of them. Yes, I do think that film looks insufferable, don’t act surprised.
Elsewhere, Jon Stewart of The Daily Show (as every mention of his name must be suffixed with by royal decree) released his directorial debut this past weekend and Rosewater did… OK. It managed $1.2 million from 371 theatres for a per-screen average of $3,325, which is OK. Not great, not poor, OK. It’s fine, could’ve been better but still enough to crack the Top 15. Much less OK, and more closer to straight up “bomb” territory, was Saving Christmas which could only manage $1,012,000 from 410 screens for a dismal $2,468 per-screen average. This means that either Americans don’t give a sh*t about the threat that faces Christmas, or that stoners who want to laugh at inept entertainment with no redeemable value except MST3K sessions were too busy staying at home watching Adult Swim. In either case, America is doomed.
Oh, and The Book Of Life collapsed out of the Top 10 because you people hate good movies.
This Full List is Dumberer than the other box office reports you could be reading elsewhere. Also, it just reminded you that Dumb And Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd existed and now you hate life.
Box Office Results: Friday 14th November 2014 – Sunday 16th November 2014
1] Dumb And Dumber To
$38,053,000 / NEW
So the film that my Secondary School Physics teacher would throw on almost quite literally whenever he couldn’t be bothered to teach us finally got a sequel, eh? Well, if it leads to a late-career resurgence for Jim Carrey then I won’t complain. I still really like Jim Carrey and that streak he had in the mid-to-late 90s still predominately holds up! I’d like to see him get one last run at the spotlight.
2] Big Hero 6
$36,010,000 / $111,653,000
There are people on this world that do not like The Emperor’s New Groove. I do not know who these people are or why they are incapable of experiencing joy, but they exist and I want nothing to do with them. I defy you to watch scenes like this, or this, or this without cracking a smile at least once – I think science has deemed doing so to be physically impossible.
$29,190,000 / $97,810,000
Not too bad a drop, quite frankly, especially considering the near-non-stop toxic word-of-mouth on this thing. Look, folks, I am not Interstellar’s biggest fan either – I barely think it’s good, even if I did enjoy it – but maybe calm the vitriol somewhat, eh? It’s not the worst film ever, it’s nowhere near the worst film this year! It’s just a rather disappointing mess that tried to do too much and failed in its lofty ambitions. Perspective, people!
Now, if you wanna talk Worst Film Of The Year candidates, let me talk to you about Nativity! 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?!…
4] Beyond The Lights
$6,500,000 / NEW
Will this be the next Ride Along or the next Obsessed? Well, which do you think it’s going to be? Come on.
5] Gone Girl
$4,625,000 / $152,699,000
Rosamund Pike is not going to get a Best Actress nomination, is she? Let’s get real, we all know that the Academy are not going to go for Gone Girl, despite the fact that I still haven’t seen anything that comes even slightly close to its level so far this year. Since we all know that Scarlett Johannson getting a Best Actress nomination – let alone deservedly running away with the statue before the nominees have even been announced – for Under The Skin isn’t happening, Pike would have been my backup “I approve” choice. But, again, getting realistic, that probably isn’t going to happen. Siiiigh…
6] St. Vincent
$4,025,000 / $33,258,000
You should really listen to St. Vincent’s self-titled album if you haven’t already. It’s one of the best albums of the year.
$3,810,000 / $75,941,000
I… err… don’t really have anything to put here. What can I say? Not every film has an endless bountiful stream of material to mine on a week-by-week basis. And so it goes.
$3,038,000 / $25,000,000
Going back to the cinema to see this again on Tuesday. I’ve wanted to go and see it again for a good while now, but I have just been way too busy and way too swamped. Bright side: cinema screen should basically be empty! Woo! In the meanwhile, and on a related note, Matt Lambourne has a short piece on why we are all to blame for his crappy movie choices up on the site if you have a spare five minutes.
$3,025,000 / $48,105,000
Oh, just fuck off.
$2,450,000 / $11,575,000
As I mentioned last week, this doesn’t hit the UK until January. You know what else I found out doesn’t hit the UK until next year? Chris Rock’s Top Five which looks brilliant and doesn’t get here until March. MARCH. I’ll tell you right now, Penguins Of Madagascar better be next-level amazing because it’s the sole thing making up for this incredibly dull-looking Rest Of 2014 Schedule for me.
Dropped Out: John Wick, Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, The Book Of Life